favorite prayer room moments

Your call comes like the morning breeze
You spread your wings and cover me
underneath Your shadow, i will hide away
for there i've found a shelter, and there i'd like to stay

so calm down my soul, and rest.

i love Your leadership, it's perfect in my life!
i love just how You lead, You know exactly what i need!

so calm down my soul, and rest.

God is able to keep me from stumbling
God is able to make me shine!

***

to starve is to feast and
less of me is more of Jesus
Lord, i want it all
Lord, i want it all
if i lose my life, i gain everything
at the cross, away with all death's sting
Lord, i want it all
Lord, i want it all

so take my heart Lord, come and seal it--
it's all i have to give.

i am Yours, come what may
i've been bought with a price
and i give You my life

You who hold the seven stars in Your hand
hold my heart
hold my heart

it's 4:56 AM!
why am i up so early
because we have to leave here at 5:30 AM for our bing trip
let me tell you something about my belief regarding vacations
although this bing trip may or may not count as a vacation.

vacations should not be jam-packed with things so that the people taking a vacation are obligated to wake up before/at sunrise in order to make sure they see/participate in all of these things. that is just ridiculous.
i would rather see ONE OR TWO things per day, and be able to relaxxxxxxxxx and chilllllllll not RUSHING AROUND EVERYWHERE ON 4 HOURS OF SLEEP and riding 7 hour long bus rides, yeah that's right you heard me 7 hours.

thank you mr and mrs bing for generously funding this trip, but it's just my suggestion. for the future.

last night i couldn't sleep well because i knew i'd have to wake up in just four hours, and i'm always nervous when i have to only sleep for a few hours, because i'm afraid i won't be able to wake up. so when i finally did sleep, i had a dream that i woke up at 5 in the morning (i wonder why!) and rushed to the airport by myself, and the airport happened to be on campus, and there was this guy filling up a machine with egg sandwhiches, and i decided to steal and egg sandwich from his cart cause i saw another guy steal one, and at the end of the dream this lady forced us all to pay $8 for the sandwiches, even though they were only worth $5, and i got mad because it wasn't a LAW that if you steal a sandwich you have to pay $3 extra when you're forced to buy it. because it hadn't been clear whether or not the sandwiches were for sale or free...i guess. anyway, i was mad. because i was like what $8?!? that's like 56 rmb! i could buy so much for that!!!!

so let's just recap:

vacations
relax
sleep
more
good
bye.

bing trip itinerary

Xi’an & Yan’an Trip Itinerary

Friday, May 08:

5:30 am: Depart from Shaoyuan 7 to Beijing Capital Airport Terminal 3

7:30 am: Take flight CA1203 from Beijing to Xi’an

09:20 am: Arrive at Xi’an and Hotel check-in

Morning & Afternoon: Visit the famous Han Yangling, Terracotta Army (Bingma Yong), The tomb of Qin Shi Huang， Xi'an City Wall, Xi'an Beilin Museum （汉阳陵，兵马俑，秦始皇陵，明城墙，碑林孔庙）

Everning: Back to the city, hotel check-in

Dinner at the night market on your own, stay in Xi’an

Saturday, May 09:

6:30 am: Have breakfast at the Hotel.

7:00 am: Depart to Ganquan County (4 hrs bus ride)

11:00 am: Bus goes directly to Shaanbei village

Meet with village leaders and farmers

Lunch at the village

2:00 pm: Depart to Yan’an

3:00 pm: Arrive at Yan’an and visit Revolutionary Memorial and Mao’s old residence （延安历史革命纪念馆，枣园毛主席旧居）

Evening: Group dinner and stay in Yan’an Hotel

Sunday, May 10:

6:30 am: Have breakfast at the Hotel

7:00 am: Depart to Hukou Waterfall along the Yellow River (3 hrs. bus ride)

10:00 am: Visit Hukou Waterfall (a quick lunch if needed)

11:30 pm: Depart to Xi’an Airport (about 7 hrs bus ride)

6:30 pm: Arrive at Xi’an and group dinner close to the Airport

21:30 pm: Take flight CA 1212 from Xi’an to Beijing

11:20 pm: Arrive at the Beijing Capital Airport (PKU bus pick-up)

my sentiments exactly

“On Turning Ten”–Billy Collins

The whole idea of it makes me feel
like I’m coming down with something,
something worse than any stomach ache
or the headaches I get from reading in bad light–
a kind of measles of the spirit,
a mumps of the psyche,
a disfiguring chicken pox of the soul.

You tell me it is too early to be looking back,
but that is because you have forgotten
the perfect simplicity of being one
and the beautiful complexity introduced by two.
But I can lie on my bed and remember every digit.
At four I was an Arabian wizard.
I could make myself invisible
by drinking a glass of milk a certain way.
At seven I was a soldier, at nine a prince.

But now I am mostly at the window
watching the late afternoon light.
Back then it never fell so solemnly
against the side of my tree house,
and my bicycle never leaned against the garage
as it does today,
all the dark blue speed drained out of it.

This is the beginning of sadness, I say to myself,
as I walk through the universe in my sneakers.
It is time to say good-bye to my imaginary friends,
time to turn the first big number.

It seems only yesterday I used to believe
there was nothing under my skin but light.
If you cut me I could shine.
But now when I fall upon the sidewalks of life,
I skin my knees. I bleed.

storytime

once upon a time, about two weeks ago, i was walking and eating a baozi at the same time. as i was walking and eating, i happened to look down at the stanford sweatshirt i was wearing, and noticed a bunch of marks on it, as if some fat water droplets had fallen from the sky onto my sweatshirt. i assumed that it had started raining, and kept walking. upon finishing my baozi, i finally noticed that my hands were covered with oil/grease (i'm not sure what the difference is), and that it wasn't raining. and then i realized that those marks on my sweatshirt were oil stains. and i was horrified, because there were a lot.

i went back to my room, and tried washing them out with soap. then i hung my sweatshirt up to dry. the next day, my sweatshirt was dry, but the stains were still there. then i decided to put the sweatshirt into the laundry basket and take it to the laundromat. a few days later, when my sweatshirt was dry once again, i noticed that the stains had not in any way diminished. at this point, it began to occur to me that maybe these stains would never come out. but i thought, "no, that's impossible. there must be a way!" so i googled "how do you get oil stains out of clothes," and the most popular answer seemed to be that if you put some borax (what's borax? i thought) and then dawn dish soap and then wash with hot water, the stain will come right out! hooray, i thought. but then i realized that 1) i don't know what borax is, 2) there is probably no borax in china, and 3) ...there's probably no dawn dish soap in china?

so THEN i decided to take it back to the laundromat and have it dry-cleaned, and it was pretty expensive, meaning like 12 kuai.
and today i picked it up
and the stains are still there.

THE END.

hooray!

i love the church i'm with now. every time i hang out with these people, i just feel SO MUCH JOY. they have such grateful spirits. they're always looking out for their brothers and sisters, and putting other people's needs above their own. their humility amazes and inspires me. i'm so, so, so grateful for them!

this is just to say

for all of my dear friends who think i am a weakling who doesn't like exercise/hardcore things...

most of the time, you are right.

BUT THIS WEEKEND, YOU WOULD BE WRONG!

this weekend, i went camping in yun meng valley, and i hiked (and literally climbed, for awhile) up a mountain for 5 hours with a backpack as big as me (and although i'm bad at estimating weight, it was heavy. the guys who tried picking it up from time to time were all like, "wow, this is heavy!" in chinese, which carries even more surprise than english) strapped to my shoulders/waist and then lay in a cold damp tent inside a thin cotton sleeping bag till 5 AM, then got up and hiked back down the mountain and didn't get back to school till 8 PM and i am still alive and feeling GREAT!!! wheeeee

of course, i'm going to sleep right now, and probably never waking up again. slash when i do wake up i'm sure i won't be able to move my body at all.

but it was great fun! the air was so FRESH and wonderful! and the mountains were SO BEAUTIFUL! and i zip-lined for the first time in like 5 years! also, the whole time we were clambering up and down the mountain, i was thinking about how hiking a mountain trail is a lot like the christian life and how i want nothing more than to follow the Lamb wherever He goes for the rest of my life.

pictures to come!

sneak peek: